DISQUS

Erin McMahon · 1 year ago

Great post. I approach social media with my nonprofit lens on most of the time and I often wonder if we're really fully utilizing its 1-1 relationship-building power. While I fully understand the need to protect oneself in this day and age, at the same time, I find- personally and reflected back by others- the need for community, connection and trust to be all the more important.

Enza · 1 year ago

great post and something I too have been working with lately. I've never had the online to real-world friendships occur but I do believe that this is inevitable.

Check out the work of dana boyd (@zephoria) who has been studying the friend phenomenon for some time now, especially how we define ourselves by our friends and what it means to have an online community.

Eyebee · 1 year ago

Body language might be absent online but I don't think too many folks can put up a charade for any length of time if they were trying to play a completely different character to what they really are, even online.

There are folks I talk to online that I would quite readily offer a room for the night or weekend etc if they were in town, and needed somewhere to stay.

Like Louis, I think most folks are inherently good. In any case, to look at the negative side for a moment, you can just as easily get taken for a ride by 'real life' (I hate that term) friends and acquaintances as you can online ones.

Anyway the thing that ultimately holds all relationships together is trust.

Yu Yu · 1 year ago

Talk about crashing, there's a social network dedicated to crashing at people's places around the world. http://www.couchsurfing.com/ -- No i'm not paid by them to post this, some friends of mine are really into it and they seem to enjoy the experiences.

Eyebee · 1 year ago

I guess it can be a good way to 1. get a 'bed' for the night, and 2. make new friends.

Mark Dykeman · 1 year ago

It's good to see another point of view on the concept of social media friends and it's good that you've been able to develop these relationships, Louis.

drewolanoff · 1 year ago

Can't wait man, gonna livestream the whole thing. You guys deserve a night out and you mean the world to me!

Mona N. · 1 year ago

All my friends are tiered, and I only trust a few people (both off and online), so I don't believe in that "you are defined by who you follow" mantra. But that's me. PS Hey - how come I'm not included to babysit Sarah and Matthew? HMPH! Some "friend" you are. ;)

Louis Gray · 1 year ago

Mona, of course you would be a wonderful babysitter to Matthew and
Sarah. We would love it and so would they. Give me a call and we'll
pick a day - it'd be awesome. 408 646 2759

worldofhiglet · 1 year ago

This is the antidote to 'The Internet wants to eat your babies' headlines that swirl around every few months. Online friends can be real friends in every sense and it is good to know that there is trust in the world and that that trust is well-founded.

Of course, Louis is talking about adults trusting adults in the online world. Sometimes I am taken aback when I realise the people I am conversing with online are significantly younger than me because it's easy to make assumptions about all aspects of a person from their online discourse. Keeping children safe online is a completely separate issue but is based on the same problem - you can pretend to be anyone online.

That said, this post confirms my view that, in general, people are basically good. And it's good to read such a positive message. Sometimes you have to take a risk and here's the evidence that the odds are high that it will work out.

CraigK · 1 year ago

I believe there is some sort of unwritten rule in social media that determines friends and fake friends. It personally has helped me gain a place to crash. A lot depends on the interaction the two parties use. Again, can't trust everyone, but like you, agree that usually people are good and helpful in most situations. A great example of this is http://www.couchsurfing.com/. A site dedicated to travelers basically reaching out for a couch to crash on when they are backpacking so they can save some money.

Craig
www.budgetpulse.com

Mettadore · 1 year ago

This is a great thought. One thing that I'm considering now is how you treat others in building these friendships. What to post and what not to post- what's appropriate level of intimacy for your friendships, etc. I was working up a blog post on that as I found this. You've given me even more to consider.

The question of friendship, the definition of "friend," etc. in the new social media space is a difficult one at times, but one that I think more people should ponder. Thank you.

Dave Peck · 1 year ago

Going to say it again...Great Post, I need to build stronger realationships with my "online friends"

Jesse Stay · 1 year ago

Consequently, my mom told me today that she read this article when I forwarded it to her to say she was mentioned. My mom reads Louis Gray's blog more than my own! ;-)